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Florida Enacts Law That Prohibits Twerking On Moving Vehicles

The Florida legislature held an emergency session this morning to vote on a law that makes twerking from on top of a moving vehicle a crime. The legislation was passed with little opposition and comes just two days after a video of a scantily-clad woman twerking from on top of a moving car was posted online.

“When I saw the video of that young lady popping her P from the roof of a moving car I was shocked,” said Representative David Richardson (D- Bald). “But we looked into it and found that there actually wasn't a law on the books specifically prohibiting twerking, or any kind of sex dancing for that matter, from being performed from on top of a moving car. This legislation aims to change that.”

Under the new law, dancers caught twerking in transit face up to 2 years in prison.

The Plantain spoke to Mislaidy Alfonso, the woman seen dancing in the now-infamous video who we assume is from Hialeah, and asked what would possess her to twerk on top of a speeding car: “If I’m going to be honest, I did it for attention,” said the 19-year-old Miami-Dade College student/Instagram model.

The bill passed the House with almost unanimous approval and will be signed into law by Governor Rick Scott this afternoon. “I think this is a great example of how Republicans and Democrats can work together for the good of the people,” said the Governor in Parseltongue. 

The lone vote against the legislation came from Democratic Representative Cynthia A. Stafford who said she does not think the government has any place telling a woman what they should or should not be doing with their bodies, whether in a bedroom or on top of a used Infinity.

By Barry McGwire